The Patriarchy from the one of the most privileged men on earth   Leave a comment

When I first stared studying feminism, the way some feminist authors wrote confused the hell out of me, so this is me trying to explain a feminist concept in really simple words.  Apparently these things seem to confuse some other men too. Observe this little Q and A from yahoo answers:

Q. What is the Patriarchy anyway?

A. “Evil patriarchy” is a lie that feminists made up and use as propaganda to justify hatred against men & boys.

Huh…well that’s total bullshit.  Let’s try the aptly named iblamethepatriarchy.com

Patriarchy, which invisibly persists as the world’s most popular social order, is a really bad scene based on an oppressive paradigm fetishizing dominance and submission. Benefits in this culture of domination are accrued according to a rigid hierarchy at the top of which are rich honky adult males and at the bottom of which are poor female children of color. Within this hierarchy, women, regardless of race or any other status markers, constitute a sub-human sex class. I Blame the Patriarchy endeavors to expose to feminist scrutiny and critique the many schemes and gambits — legislation, adjudication, media, medicine, culture, religion, Oprah, tradition, etc — through which the dominant culture controls the sex class and sustains the global humanitarian crisis that has ensued as a result of its ceaseless violence.

Having read feminist bloggers for a couple years now, I get exactly what she is saying, and I agree.  However, for your average working class stiff, that style of prose can be a little thick. I think what’s happening is that feminists are social technicians, mechanics for the machine of society, if you will, and they tend to write like it.  Shop manuals don’t say “take out the doohicky by the wuttzit under that big round thing” because the whole point of manual is to give you precise instruction.  That requires a lot jargon.   There’s two problems though.

(1.) A lot of people think that feminist are at least peripherally motivated to make the world a better place.  Most people with a messianic mission put huge amounts of effort it making their pitch as lucid to beginners as possible so they can pick up more converts.  Feminism mostly doesn’t worry about that.  Feminism101 is great spot for that sort of thing, but IBTP says right on the about page “I Blame The Patriarchy is intended for advanced patriarchy-blamers. It is not a feminist primer.”  Jeez.  What’s up with that? Why doesn’t the author want you to get it?  If your a man, you’re probably thinking something to the effect of “If this is so damn important, why isn’t somebody helping figure out what the hell they are saying?”  (More on that later).

(2.) It immediately pisses you off, for several reason.  For starters, You can’t recall ever “fetishizing dominance and submission” and you don’t think women are “sub-human”.  Also, you just lost your job, you’re in debt up to your eyeballs and your piece of crap car is getting reposed.  If you have a spot in this rigid hierarchy that puts you at the top, why do you keep getting screwed?

So let me offer you my very simple explanation of the Patriarchy…

Q. You know how you work your ass off to make a better life for yourself, and maybe for your wife and kids too, and she got the kids in the divorce and you are paying for it, and you never seem to get ahead, and everything sucks?

A. That’s the Patriarchy.

Wasn’t that incredibly easy? Don’t you see why they get pissed of at the Patriarchy? Aren’t you on their side now?

Q. Buh, buh, buh, but, what about all that stuff about women?

A.  Ok, pretend you play major league baseball. You and your team are kidnapped by some kind of murderous, eccentric millionaire and taken to his private island, where you have to play football against the hometeam, a top rated NFL team, to survive.  Even though every single one of you is an elite athlete, you will lose everyday because you have to play football, even if the rules are enforced totally fairly on both teams.  In other words, even if the rules of the game are enforced fairly, those rules disproportionately harm those who the game wasn’t made for.  Everything the Patriarchy does to hurt you, hurts a woman in your place more, because it’s not her ‘game’.

Q. But why?

A.  That’s the stuff about hierarchy.   If you are rich, white, man your sort of the top rated NFL team in that example, the further you move from that, harder it is to compete.  A rich white woman probably has an easier time of the game than a poor white man, but  poor black man has it harder than poor white woman.   The absolute bottom of the food chain is a disabled black girl.  This is not my opinion, if you don’t believe me look at the statistics for every measure of quality of life, like likelihood of abuse or arrest for a noncriminal activity.

Q. But how?

A. Because money is power, and 400 people own more than 50% of the wealth on earth.  To put that in perspective, 0.0000000005% owns 50% of the planet, and 99.99999995% own the other 50%.  They make the rules, and they are all white males. (Again, look this up if you don’t believe me)  In creating a system that keeps their kids in the top 5* 10^-8 of society,  they created a hierarchy, and it goes like this (1.) Parentage (2.) Sex (3.) Race (4.) Age (5.) Sexual inclination (6.) Gender (7.) Ability.   I honestly don’t think they put the poor, female, black, 14 year old, gay, transgender, and disabled person on the bottom…it just worked out that way.  They fight hard to stay on the top and someone else has to stay on the bottom.  If they didn’t fight to keep the hierarchy, they could lose everything, so fuck the other billions.  The whole damn system from top to bottom is broken, because that tiny fraction of the population cannot possibly make good decisions for everyone else.

Q. But how am I’m benefiting from the Patriarchy?

A. Not as much as you want and far too much at the same time.  You are correct that you are not a member of the illuminati of something, and you probably don’t have nearly the easy ride you might if you were farther up the food chain, but the fact is, you DO have privilege. Your position in society is better than it would be without it, and someone else’s (problem a woman, probably not white, and probably not in American) is worse.

Finally, I said I would answer why feminists don’t seem to take their messianic role to men very seriously.  Their messianic role isn’t to men.  It’s to women, hence the term…feminism.  The Patriarchy sucks for everybody, but it sucks much harder for women.  Over the years a lot of men have shown up in feminism and thought that what feminism was really missing more men…ie, that the problem with feminism is that it wasn’t Patriarchal enough.  I’ve found that if you support feminists because they are right, they are very positive and helpful, and you support them because you think you should get a cookie for being a man who supports feminism, they are quite dismissive.   It’s that “I should get a cookie” mindset that really pisses them off.  They tend to see it as symptomatic of that privilege I mentioned earlier…because it is.  Why should you get a cookie for thinking they should have the same opportunities you should?

Let me add a final one:
Q: But aren’t you writing this at least in part to get the approval of feminists?
A. Yup.  But I don’t think I’m entitled to it.  Privilege is thinking you should get something  just because.  I work on not behaving like an entitled ass whenever possible.
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