A man on feminism   Leave a comment

So here I’ve been chipping away at understanding feminism.

Let me start by saying that I support feminism, even when I don’t have 100% agreement with individual feminists.  There are feminists out there that are batshit insane.  There is no Matriarch of Feminism, lording (ladying?) over the Grand Universal Church of Feminism.  As such there is no catechism, and no way to kick people out who violate the non-existent standards.   So, some feminists, like the people who think that maleness itself is a form of rape, are nucking futz.  But feminism is why my wife can vote and I dont know anyone working harder to make the world a better place for my daughter.

Sometimes I think the whole movement is wrong in a way  too.  It seems to be tainted with Marxism.  Marx said some brilliant things, and do think it is fair to say that the Soviets were not the best example of Marxism that anyone ever thought of.  Sometimes I hear things they say, and like religious people, I respect the direction, if not the execution of their beliefs.  The catch is, the position of women in the US is horrible.  Everything that makes life rough for anyone in the US, lack of a social net, taxes, healthcare, etc…it’s all worse for women.  That’s not my opinion, it’s solid facts that you can look up for yourself.  So even when the feminists are nuts, their nuttiness pushes the whole of American society closer to a better world for women.  Since most men love some women, that’s a better world for everybody.

But I do have 3 pieces of (unsolicited advice).  I offer this not only to feminist, but literally all leftists, it just applies most directly to feminists.  Note also, feminists, that I’m not saying with this little list, that any of the systemic problems that these put back in YOUR individual laps aren’t real systemic problems.  They are real. They are systemic, and top-down change will be required.  But I just want to talk about some of the bottom-up things we can do while we are waiting for the top down-change.

(1.) Don’t buy crap you don’t need.

This is huge.  One of the big top-down changes that I hear about is media.  We need to control the media better because it’s controlling us.  They say that they are just giving us what we want, but they are insidiously poisoning our minds with with materialism and a corrosive body image.  And I agree. So I don’t buy crap. Ever. Don’t buy gossip rags. Don’t buy fashion mags. Don’t buy porn (lord knows there is enough out there free).  Think TV is corrupting your soul? Stop watching.  Think the news is giving you biased crap?  Stop watching it.  There are numerous overseas, English-language news outlets.  Use those.

(2.) Don’t have sex with misogynists.

Please, please, please stop having sex with men who treat you like shit.  The demand for sexual experiences excedes the supply.  I promise you, if handsome, rich misogynists can’t get laid, and goofy looking, poor, feminists can, douche bags of the world will quickly convert to feminists.  We have a society where sex is power…go on strike.

(3.) Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Yelling at guys for telling rape jokes to strangers is awesome. Keep doing that, because it needs to be said.  Please, though, don’t say things like “Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women’s bodies.”  (Andrea Dworkin).  I don’t want to be lumped into a giant group of violent criminals.  I bet no one wants to be told that that because they belong to a group they must have value X, or behavior Y.   It can be truish, if you say it right like “White men, in general, make more than anyone one in the US.”  That’s a fact!  But please take the time to not say that every white man makes more than everyone else, because (1.) its a stupid lie, (2.) it’s bigoted, (3.) It’s not something you would want done to you…don’t do it to others.

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